I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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