I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
