I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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