He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
