is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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