It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
