seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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