I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Maybe he injected his testicle?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
