Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
