this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
