so that wasnt chicken after all
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
