I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
