We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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