...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You made out with two different species that night
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
