Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
