We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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