Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
