I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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