You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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