He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
two words...techno handjob
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
