"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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