So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
