Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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