let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
