you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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