quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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