i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
