and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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