were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
