Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
