I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's shark week go big or go home
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
