I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
