he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
