cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she told me i tasted like america
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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