I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
