the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We're too hungover to prance.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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