Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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