K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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