I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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