Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Two words: nipple clamps
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