That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
