Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
