11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
