We got so high we made milksteak
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
