I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
