I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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