I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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