my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
