Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We need to rekindle our bromance
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
