I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
