I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize