roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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