i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
