does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
