normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
3 2 1 whiskey
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
