return my video game
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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