We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
