She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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