If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize