I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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