Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
PANTIES FOUND
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