I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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