I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
