You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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