Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
